Jenny Holzer 1985

not for you

I can’t explain if it’s my awareness of what’s going on or if it’s the feeling I have recently gotten that screams inside of me telling me ‘stop doing things that make you unhappy’. Growing up I was raised as the only child, everything is on me. There are no expectations to follow, no shadow, I am the one who creates the shadow. I am the one who sets the bar. But listen, I am not your golden child, I am nobody’s trophy. I am not your award, your honor sticker on the back of the family van. These past years of my life, I have spent it in your pleasure. The grades that came home were not for myself. It is true that getting straight A’s made myself happy at times, but I feel like now I am working towards nothing. Straight A’s don’t push you into Yale. Yeah, they help, but that’s not it. And let’s face it, I’m not Yale. I’m not Stanford. I’m not UCLA. I’m sick of doing things to make myself look good for people. I’m not getting these grades for you. I’m not working hours on useless packets for you. I’m not annotating for you. None of these are for you, or for myself. “Be the best that you can be” but if that means changing who I am to fit a quota or a list of characteristics, it’s really not the best for me. I like to create, I like to make things that make others happy. I love drawing and I love painting. I love animations and I want to make them. I want to improve myself and my abilities. I want to be on road for me, myself, and I. I’m sick of being put into this “Asian” stereotype. I’m sick of the system, whatever it may be. 


when someone say hi to ya bae for too long

(via bbossa)